When I first started school in Kindergarten, a long time ago, my mother used to walk me to school. There was some kind of a large foghorn--or something--on top of one of the buildings along the way. My mother told me it reminded her of World War II, which she lived through as a teenager--running to bomb shelters; and it made her nervous. I got a bad impression of war and never wanted to be a boy, who might have to go to war! [And these days, even some girls might be forced to go.]
When I was young, I usually had a crush on a boy.... There were different boys at different times, and I mostly admired them from a distance. I was usually too shy to talk to them. In my teens, I had a few boyfriends.... When I met my husband-to-be, I felt more feminine at that time because he was quite masculine--he liked fishing, hunting, and trapping or live trapping.... It's fun to dress up sometimes but I don't like to take a lot of time to fuss with my appearance on a daily basis--I do what's necessary, more or less. [And I'm not getting any younger!]
While I've been working on this police project, I've been pretty tied up! Dating has been a very narrow option for me, unfortunately.... They say you get what you can pay for in dating, if you're honest, and I haven't been able to afford much! Anyway, I've been busy...the work has provided me some entertainment, and I've even been able to connect better with my now late, ex-husband, as surprising as that may sound.... [Earlier, I said he inspired me in a spiritual way and that was true, but he was also very charming and intelligent which I appreciated. I liked--or loved--his personality! And his appearance appealed to me. It was just that he had a drinking problem...and there were issues with the police project, which he wasn't able to tell me everything about at the time.... It's too bad I wasn't a strong enough person at the time, myself, to deal with everything,]
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