A Couple Story, or not?

The man I married long ago had a colourful life.  He was adopted as a baby and spent time in a criminal motor cycle club when he grew older, and he was an alcoholic....  He got a little tired of his life and a friend directed him to a Christian farm in northern Ontario, where he was able to get a job.  Some nutritious vegan food was served and he felt well, and he had a religious conversion experience.  That was where I met him.  Later, he got a job as a youthworker in northern British Columbia and he taught practical skills and sports to the Native and white Canadian kids at a community centre.  Everyone liked him.  He also worked with police at this job because they needed to talk about some of the kids, at times.

My husband and I had gotten married while he was a youthworker.  Around this time, my husband made comments here and there, and told me some stories which turned out to be symbolic stories about the special police project to help with gay issues.  At the time, I myself knew nothing about the police project--and I suppose it wasn't the right time for me to know everything....

Although he made some good efforts, my husband wasn't completely able to get a handle on his drinking.  I loved him but wasn't willing to live with some problems that the drinking caused, so I left with our son.  We got divorced and he died not too long afterwards.  It was only later that I found out about the police project, I learned to understand my former husband's comments and stories and I appreciated them.  I also had a new respect for my former husband.

Looking back, I understand that some people self-medicate themselves with alcohol or drugs; and I believe that God doesn't always judge our outward circumstances--He knows our hearts.  I don't judge my late, ex-husband.

If the police project would like me to be paired with any man for publicity purposes--as I've heard hints about--I'd only like to be paired with the memory of my former husband, if they wouldn't mind.  Otherwise, I'd like to be represented by a lawyer, if one could be found who sympathizes with my life and views.