What I Did, and Didn't, Say--part two

It's embarrassing for me to admit what I said at the hearing....  I was confused in the way that I said it.  Up until now, I've blamed my landlady for not being straightforward with me about her sexual orientation.  But I've been willing to admit now that I could've been more tactful with her....  Maybe things could've been different?

At any rate, I said what I did and it wasn't clear....  The adjudicator made some comments in support of sexual orientation and then he said, "Really, I'm sorry, Mrs. Coles, but there's no place for that here...."  Then he said "Ah--," and that's when I teased him; and things went on from there....

Was the adjudicator partly offended because he couldn't believe my case could've been based on sexual orientation?  Maybe...?  Or did he think I was just putting the landlady down...?  [He thought I was putting her down because he didn't know how the case could apply to something else, at the time....]

The bottom line, as I see it, is that I didn't explain my case well and the adjudicator became offended by me--and my landlady also showed him the transcripts of the angry phone messages where I first called my landlady a lesbian or gay....  Isn't it appropriate for me to apologize and say that I didn't present a good case?  It seems to me it is.  [I won't make any other amends because I already sent a donation to PFLAG Canada, for the landlady and the adjudicator....]

To my knowledge, the adjudicator has never forgiven me for the teasing....  Myself, I didn't want to say the teasing was wrong...because it wasn't really a big deal, in my mind....  But something had to give, somewhere....  And as I've said, I've been willing to say I could've cut off my case at the beginning....  [I could've told myself, "Better luck next time...!"--Whatever.]

For the record, the hearing took about two hours and the sexual harassment discussion was only about 10 minutes long....  During most of the time, I found the adjudicator to be fair and a very nice person....  In the police project, some people expected him to give in, at some point....  They wanted him to step away--and to be happy...