They've wanted him out...

If I'm interpreting it correctly, there's some recent information in my blog dashboard which shows that the "quality police" [and perhaps the French lawyer and his associates?] still want the former adjudicator out of the police project...and they want me to do it, without coming forward themselves...?  Okay, so I'm going to try...and I may be able to do it...? 

If the quality police don't want to reveal themselves, I'll have to work as if I'm competing with the adjudicator, myself, for the spokesperson job...if the adjudicator is fighting for that  privilege???  That's why he hasn't given in yet...?  And it seems logical to me...as logical as it is....  If and when I succeed in defeating the adjudicator, then I'll be able to turn my power over to the quality police and/or to the French lawyer....  That's my plan....  [I don't know if I might still have to negotiate any issues with these other parties...???  We'll deal with it later, if so...?  But they might be happy if I can succeed, I'd think?]

My Blog Profile Photo

Speaking of photos, I've attempted to change my blog profile photo today--changed to a more recent photo--and there seems to be a problem....  The picture is out of focus, although the original photo and the scan were fine....  Okay, that's all right....  This photo was taken in August 2016.  The previous one was a fair bit older.  Sorry I didn't have a chance to change it sooner....  [Maybe the malfunction will get corrected, or maybe I'll have to wait for another time to try again...?]

The Bad Photo--part two

To be very clear, I mentioned in Waterlily II that my next [younger] sister and I developed a problem with sibling rivalry.  That was the main issue, which started after I began attending school.  I felt my sister was bothering me and my dad had observed [which I found out later] that I wasn't as happy at home any more....  My mom had her own ideas, based partly on her own childhood experiences.  [My sister as much as told me later that she missed me after I began attending school and she wanted attention from me.  I could've helped her, if I'd known!]  So, my parents mistakenly concluded that I was having problems at the public school...and that's when they decided to send me to the church school....


Also, when I first started attending the new school, I had an incident where it seemed my teacher was putting me down when I was asking for help...and the matter wasn't resolved satisfactorily....  It concerned a problem I had with another child on the playground, or at the edge of it....  Looking back, I believe I was a sensitive child and I know I suffered some trauma from this entire matter.


Am not trying to explain all the issues in detail here because it'd take too long and I've already written about them elsewhere.


My seven-year-old, school photo was the first school photo I ever had taken, I believe, and of course I should've combed my hair...and I failed to do so.  My parents did the best they knew by sending me to the Christian school....  They meant well.  [Am not trying to knock the school but there could've been other options--like family counselling--and I could've gone to the Christian school a little later....]


Mistakes happen...and I had a bad photo...and the police used it to their advantage....  [And maybe they honestly wanted to know what my explanation was...?  And that's fine....  So, I've given the explanation now.]

The Bad Photo

The main thing that was bad in my childhood, school photo--at seven years old--was my hair.  I had "hat hair," and perhaps a bad haircut besides?  My parents were very busy, at that time....  The photographer should've asked me to comb my hair....  [Did I normally comb my hair at school?  I would hope so.  I sure did after this photo!]


And oblivious of my hair, I had a big smile on my face!  I was new to the school that year and my parents had gone out of their way--on more than one count--to send me there and to help make it a worthwhile experience....  It was a private, Christian school.  My parents had helped me feel special for going there....


Later, I found out my parents had had other concerns about my education...and they weren't necessarily right...!  They had failed to talk to me about their concerns before they decided to send me to the new school....  I could've explained some things to them about my own feelings and behaviour--and that I didn't actually have any problems at my former public school....


It was my parents who erred, in a sense....  Sometimes, "The good is the enemy of the best," and in this case the church school was good but not as good as a little family conference would've been....  Have been writing about this matter in the public and private parts of my blogs.... 


The above-mentioned photo looked a little "thwarted," maybe.  I accept that.  But it wasn't gay--not to say gays are thwarted....


[Sometimes the police have needed a specific response to a particular detail....  So, this is one here, if it wasn't clear before...?  I don't think I'm going to have too much more to say for the special police project, in my blogs--not before things are settled...?]

They Don't Have to Like Me to Do Business

The police and their associates don't have to appreciate my life and the religious views of my family....  The main point of why I was explaining things that happened in the past was so people could see that homosexuality or sexual orientation weren't the issues....  I had other concerns....  [--And I'm pretty much done with all my writing.--]


As far as I understand, some of the police have already accepted the offer I made to contribute from my pay to their police work and/or charities to help make up for the loss of the false, gay story....  A few other parties have still been dragging their feet?  I'm trying to understand what the hold-up is...?


Maybe the "quality police" will need to show some gumption and come forward one of these days...?  They're leaving me in a bad place by remaining out of sight....

Lawyers Are Helpful

The police don't have to work with me directly...a business-like way of handling things is to use a lawyer....


When the police and their associates get to the point where they want to settle with me, they could have their lawyer contact me.  Then I could get my own lawyer, probably through Legal Aid to start with?  I'm not in a position to initiate legal action, myself....


Have said before that some of the lawyers in the police project aren't authorized to practise law in Canada so they wouldn't be the ones to act....  Not unless they wanted me to get my own lawyer to work with them...?


Just some things to think about.

We Need to Work Together...

If anybody is interested, I've written some new posts in my Waterlily Story II blog about my childhood and personal life.  The posts go with some previously-posted photos.  I've tried to be as open as I can be.


Have mentioned before that the special police project and parties involved were shown a picture of me when I was seven years old and told a false story that I was gay.  I no longer have this photo and it was a bad one....  But bad photos happen at times, for different reasons....  In my writing in the private part of this blog, I've recently worked through some mild trauma that I faced when I was seven years old....  It was the last piece of my past that I felt I needed to deal with....


During my childhood, I sometimes felt shame for family problems at home while my Christian friends at school seemed to have good, orderly lives....  But we do what we can to fix things...and I've realized that my family had many happy times with our relatives and with the immigrant group we belonged to....  [Not that our family was never happy on our own.]  There are good times and bad times in life, and we want to focus on the good....  I'm learning to do that and to appreciate what I had....


As for the police project, I've been able to cope with help from God and from a mental health agency.  Now the agency has cut me off because they said I don't need them any more and other people need help.  But the police have had me under so much pressure that I need to have some human support.  My family and friends have been told I'm delusional.  It's not that the agency believed everything but they gave me some practical support while I was working on the issues....  Other people can't relate to me.  So, I need for some police or someone to come forward and acknowledge the issues.  We need to work together if anything further is going to get done?


My chiropractor has informed me that my health is getting worse, in spite of my best efforts to help myself and to pay for many kinds of treatments....  The problem is the stress I'm under, I believe.


The "Irishman" who is now in charge of the police project gets advice from the African lawyer...and his father was a political prisoner in Africa who got sick and died in captivity, as far as I know.  The persecuted become the persecutors, is that it?  The son is persecuting me...and for what???  I really need to see a change.