An "X" and a Mockingbird

Sometimes it's the low-budget, unpopular movies which give out helpful details--and sometimes they're true!? [A movie, "The Producers," 1968, might portray something about this phenomenon?] In the case of "Failure to Launch," 2006, there's a running story about a mockingbird problem! And there's a very large and noticeable X-shaped cushion at a paintball park! A connection between a mockingbird and an "X"??? Yes, I think it might be relevant to some of us!? [The "x-men" may refer to the CC police!?]  Note added in February 2023:  The movie, To Kill a Mockingbird, from the 1960s has been connected to the special police project, in my opinion....  They actually wanted to expose some details and weren't necessarily trying to be helpful...but I believe it was a good film!  There was another significant mocking bird film made in Canada, and I seem to have deleted the post where I explained about it earlier...?

Doctor Under Scrutiny--V

This doctor isn't just a psychiatrist--he teaches psychiatry in medical school. He also holds several executive positions--being the Chair of this; and the VP or Vice-Chair of that. *** Have heard this man was given the wrong information about me at the beginning. That was when I had an extreme bad hair day on picture day at school [second grade]; and the doctor was told, "Look at this poor girl from a dysfunctional home...!" Some people wanted to have the maximum effect in marketing and publicity, it seems!?

Their Work Is Theirs--II

Have said a number of times in the past that churches are supposed to be a help to society; but the members of churches are part of the society we live in! If there are issues which concern our society generally, even church members may not have a firm grasp of them--if they've been influenced by society. One advantage of TV and movies is that they're usually seen by large numbers of the public. *** Unless a film/TV show is specifically making a point of saying that some details relate to a particular person, we have to see the stories as fictional. If there are specific cases of libel, they can be dealt with through legal means. [There may be issues to deal with but we're working on them. Separate libel cases also may not be necessary, if there are broader means of getting results. When there's competition in business, especially, sometimes all that's needed is to market a better product!? But I can't answer all these questions at this time.] *** There are other ways of spreading information besides through entertainment, of course! If people can look at the real issues, and the real individuals involved if necessary, I think it will be more productive than looking at what's been done in film--at least, so far!? Am not sure what's ahead but we're working on it. There are other people who know more than I do.

Everyone Has to be Accountable--II

A police official whom I referred to may or may not be supporting me at this time. Am not sure what he's been doing lately, if anything. [It's possible he's even retired!?] But he was a top police inspector when I met him; and he made several comments about police work. At the time, I didn't know everything that was going on and didn't know enough to ask! [I had made a complaint to the RCMP in Ottawa about police behaviour not too long before then. The RCMP had also referred me to the Interpol division, which I contacted.] But since then, and before I knew it, there have been police who were trying to accomplish something worthwhile. A person can't necessarily say the end justifies the means!? But some police and their friends have been sincere and wanted to find the right answers. As I said before, I'm not exactly sure about which police were on the right track? [I know of some.] I have an idea but don't know everything. We'll be working on the issues--the cops do their thing and I do mine!

Doctor Under Scrutiny--III

If I said people shouldn't find fault with my views [regarding Christians and homosexuality], I was referring to people who have heard all the right facts about me. Of course there are still questions about my criminal matters, etc. It's been complicated; and there's a lot to sort out--I realize that. *** Expect to be taking serious steps this week to see how much progress can be made.--Will be working on official business.

Doctor Under Scrutiny--II

This psychiatrist whom I've been writing about has apparently had conflicts with some of the police. The police film which I mentioned shows some conflict [even though the details may be mixed up or reversed, as I've written about before]. And I found it unusual that the hospital staff member who spoke to me about a movie was also quite hostile--several times--about the idea of police involvement! *** If there was "An Unfinished Life" film [2004], about a particular person, I guess the parties wanted to wrap up that story!? And it seems to me the doctor's involvement makes a difference, at this time.

Doctor Under Scrutiny

There are psychiatrists who are sometimes asked to advise about the content of TV shows or movies. Have heard of the practise and it's not uncommon. In my case, a psychiatrist has been involved either in advising about films which concerned me; or else he's advised police who had film/TV connections in the gay rights project. This doctor is also on the staff or administration of both the hospital which is supervising me and also the provincial agency which was ordered by the criminal court to direct the hospital. Will be taking this matter up with the hospital. There has apparently been a "code of silence" around my case--that people [everywhere] were directed to let me speak for myself with no interference or assistance from anywhere.--That's my understanding, more or less. But some people have presumed to know what my answers were going to be! And they've had a vested interest. If they put pressure on me to respond according to their wishes, especially around gay issues or romantic matters, they may be bordering on discrimination or sexual harassment. *** There are two films which include medical doctor or psychiatrist characters which I believe have some connection to the psychiatrist above. One is "Silence of the Lambs," 1991; and the other is "Border Patrol," 2000. [Have I mentioned earlier that the first film shows something about what psychiatrists who work with the criminally insane--or "mentally-disordered" persons--have to deal with?] There's also a third film which includes a name like his and has to do with police--and possibly my criminal matters [in a fictional and/or symbolic story]. This last film also includes a police name which I'm somewhat familiar with--have spoken to a police inspector about some police business, partly at his request. 

Cadillac Jack

The real "Cadillac Jack" was a rodeo rider who was wrongfully convicted of murder in the 1960s. A TV movie came out in about 1998. It was called, "Still Holding On: The Legend of Cadillac Jack." People can look it up if they're interested.

Christmas at Cadillac Jack's--II

After looking on the Internet, have found my church sponsored some other Christmas programs since 2001. Wasn't aware of them earlier and, except for the newest one, haven't seen them advertised. The one from 2007 was the last one of that kind which they've distributed, so far. And this one will be shown again this month. People can check their listings or look up the name through Google. [My church is a non-profit organization and they don't mind people advertising the films.--They say so in a website. From my side, I'm not promoting any of these films for commercial purposes--for the record.--I have to make sure to abide by the rules of the blog site.] *** Also for the record, I'm not authorized at this time to promote the film as being about anything in particular. It's a story about family at Christmastime. But I'll be discussing the matter with some official sources.

Christmas at Cadillac Jack's

My church doesn't normally get very involved in theatre or theatrical productions. The above story [title] isn't especially significant in itself, in my opinion. But I believe it's an allegorical interpretation of the gay rights project--according to the understanding of the contact who gave out the information. And the film especially shows the part which concerns me--the Canadians and me!? Won't try to point out too many details, right now, and I wouldn't want to step on anyone's toes! *** Allegoric, or symbolic, details might show a married couple to represent an association in business. And a parent and child might show someone who was there first [in business] and another person who followed after them. *** The adult daughter who had been adopted many years before was wearing green and white at the end.--Just wanted to point it out, for people who might be interested!

They're Good At Their Day Jobs!?

The local, elderly advisor whom I mentioned in the gay rights project has maybe been a "devil's advocate" for the bad twin party--to make sure they got all their rights!? Anyway, he probably hasn't known or had time to see what was done with all his information!? And he possibly never will. But he's an educated person in a high position(s) in his normal employment. Have commented a number of times over the years that some of these people are better at their day jobs than at Hollywood business! But I'm hoping we'll get everything settled quite soon. It may be possible!?

Just When It's Looking Hopeless...

Last night, there were some very nice Christmas concerts on TV. And then I happened to see a program on a Canadian cable channel which was called, "Christmas at Cadillac Jack's." I knew this show had been sponsored by my church in the USA a couple years ago, but didn't have a chance to see it until now. I had also found a movie about "Cadillac Jack" a little earlier. He was a real-life cowboy, if I recall, who was falsely accused and convicted of a serious crime. He spent some time in a large prison while he was working on an appeal; and he also created a rodeo program for his fellow prisoners and their families. His work was very much appreciated and he was eventually cleared and released from prison. I believe he also continued the rodeo at the prison after he left. *** There's an actual restaurant called Cadillac Jack's, if I understand correctly, and it's where the Christmas show was mostly filmed. The story has a similar theme as another 2007 film, "The Note," which I've mentioned before. But this second show adds a lot of other details, including a "bad Santa," by the way! *** Can write some more about these matters after I have time to review and think about them. [Am I hopeful?--I feel very thankful and certainly hopeful!] *** Won't bother trying to deal with the local police separately right now. Will contact one of my other official sources, with evidence, and some police are connected to them. [Not sure if many are but there are some.]

Cleaning Up the Side Issues--V

Had a quick look in my files and I have a copy of a letter from my former landlady's psychiatrist. She had been seeing him for 5 years, at the time, starting 4 years before I ever met her. Won't publish many details but the letter is available if anyone needs to see it privately.

Saying Inappropriate Things

When I filled out my first landlord/tenant application in 1998, I hadn't yet processed all the issues I was dealing with in my mind. It was an unusual situation for me to be in, at the time. And also, it was a question of understanding how the laws applied in that case and what kinds of terms were used. I had a feeling I was being harassed but it was harder to explain it right away. *** Have noticed that even celebrities have made mistakes in their public conversations! [Won't comment further.] And one time I had to work with a lawyer [English-speaking Canadian] who didn't know a "Dutch" person was from Holland! [And then there are the "Pennsylvania Dutch" who have a German background!] *** When people are dealing with matters outside of their education and experience, especially, they can easily make mistakes and say the wrong things. That's something I've been noticing. *** As far as children go, I think all of them probably say things that sound funny sometimes!

A Plug For Lawyers

If I said not all Legal Aid lawyers are bad, or that some are dedicated and competent, I could have said some are VERY dedicated and competent, and even experienced! And I've been thankful to receive their services during the past 11 years or so. [If I had a larger income, I'd have been glad to pay for legal services myself. But have had to do what I could; and was thankful to receive some help at little or no cost.]

Will Support Him In Business

Would like to go on record that I'm willing to support John/JB in settling this business. Haven't received any definite confirmation or facts but have heard something to the effect that he wanted to support me. It's possible other parties around me think he's a fictional character, by now!? But he's not. Right now, it's not about reliving past fictional stories but it's about getting something accomplished! And nobody can live in the past--not really. We need to move forward; and it has been the purpose of the gay rights project. [If Hollywood people have been willing to market helpful stories and ideas, and especially to explore new ground, then it's to their credit. It has mostly been within the context of entertainment but that's their main business. If we want another platform, we have to go elsewhere, right? But it was Hollywood and their contacts who began promoting issues within the gay rights project. We have to acknowledge them and they may not be finished yet!] John has been somewhat removed from this local area for many years. But whatever his circumstances are otherwise, I'd like to work with him. I'm willing to cooperate and support him. [It's not that I can promise to agree 100% on everything--we can negotiate. But I'd like to be optimistic.]

Was She An Agent?--II

Have heard this lady has consulted with parties about issues in the gay rights project. Whether they asked her to do so, or if she offered, I've never asked her to work or speak for me! And I hope the other parties aren't counting on her too much to resolve this business? From what I know of her, she doesn't have good business skills; and she doesn't follow through. She has also been known, by people close to her, for not thinking enough about what she speaks. [If I can point it out, I believe there's a Bible verse which says something like, "The talk of the lips tendeth only to penury." In other words, being "All talk and no action" isn't profitable! You need to be able to support your "talk" with a constructive plan and action--if you have worthwhile ideas!] *** It was somewhat helpful that I became acquainted with this lady. She tried to be a friend, at times. At least she wasn't hiding in the woodwork, like other parties have been! But otherwise, I haven't worked directly with this person, as I've stated. [If there are further issues to settle, we'll work on them.]

Was She An Agent?

It's possible the lady who I thought would want to agree to the "Desperately Seeking Susan" movie, which wasn't about gay issues, doesn't want to look on her involvement in the gay rights project as accidental? When she met her first husband many years ago, she was attracted to his singing voice; and even though she had no special qualifications, she ended up getting him a job as an entertainer in a popular and quality tourist location. The man, himself, didn't have good credentials to begin with--but apparently he had talent! As far as I understand, the marriage broke up fairly soon afterwards. The lady apparently wasn't able to keep up with the social demands and the business involved. That's the best of my understanding--my opinion! Not too long afterwards, the singer went to the far north of Canada and got a job working as an announcer for a radio station.--It was part of a radio/TV network. This man made this effort on his own, if I'm not mistaken. His wife, or estranged wife at the time, didn't help him. But she went to live near him for family reasons. And before too long, the man was killed in an accident. *** So, is the above lady an agent? She wanted to see herself as one? And others supported her? I don't have the facts. From my view, I've said the parties could pay her, or not pay her, whatever they saw fit! [Have also said the mistakes and liabilities of some should be deducted from their compensation! But they might be able to redeem themselves, at least somewhat, if they would work to overcome their mistakes from the past!?] *** Anyway, I don't feel the above points are up to me to decide!? This lady hasn't worked directly with me; and she can negotiate with those who did.

World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day. There is certainly a lot of suffering brought on by AIDS. If we want to care about people, this isn't a subject to be ignored. In the western world, Christian families especially may be removed from it. For now, I just wanted to acknowledge this day. [People can find more information on the Internet if they wish to.]

Dentist in Montreal!?

Haven't seen any evidence that he was directly involved in the gay rights project, but a dentist from my church was very supportive of gays in the late 1970s or early 1980s. He lived in this general area around me. I wasn't directly involved but there was controversy over homosexuality at one of our local churches; and this dentist ended up leaving the denomination because of his views. That's my understanding. Am not sure if he left immediately or if it took a little time. Some of his family left the church with him. *** The gay rights project has used stories about dentists. The first one I was aware of was "The Whole 9 Yards," 2000, which I've mentioned recently. According to Internet notes, an American dentist went to live in the city of Montreal, Quebec. Some of the same characters continued in the sequel, "The Whole 10 Yards," 2004. It seems to me some parties--especially from Montreal perhaps--have been waiting for other church members to leave churches which disapprove of homosexuality!? [Is it a realistic expectation? Or one they still want to fight over???] *** It seems to me some of the parties who are still telling stories and debating have been directly or indirectly hired by Montreal parties? [Or maybe they haven't quite sorted things out in Montreal, even if they've been trying??? (We'll keep working.)] Am almost sure of it! But I expect we'll deal with the issues. *** In gay issues, like others, there are opposing points of view. Some are pro, some are con. Christian people, especially, have wanted to be sympathetic. And if some belong to churches which support homosexuality, we're not trying to stop them. The rest of us can speak of "tolerance;" or we can be proactive and do something practical to help. [Don't have time to look it up right now, but I believe a Bible verse says we should love or show charity "in deed {by our actions} and in truth," and not just by our words!?] It's not always easy to know what to do!? There's an expression that God hates the sin but loves the sinner!

More Details to Follow

There have been many "layers" within the gay rights project and it seems there are groups of people in the layers, also. Have reason to believe one of the basic layers has been individual members of my church. They haven't necessarily been educated or qualified to advise, except that everyone has their opinion! [And some, or even many, may be well-educated!?] People generally want to be helpful, isn't that true? These particular people may have held the same opinions over many years. If they've been hearing about my life and comments during the past 10 years, approximately, they may not have found me very credible, so far!? And could we blame them? There's some evidence I'd like to bring up but will have to do a little research to refresh my memory first. *** In many of the movies or TV shows, details may be mixed up or reversed.--Sometimes black is white, and white is black, etc. What confirmed my belief about the above "layers" was the movie, "Beverly Hills Cop III." And I'll have more to say about this particular film later, as well. *** If the police and their associates wanted to get advice and input from church members or others who weren't directly qualified [if I may say so], I guess it was okay!? At least they didn't depend on their own views alone! They made an effort to listen to other people.

Fun Movie

A cable TV channel showed an interesting, classic movie, "Top Hat," from 1935, today. It starred Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire. There were many details I could point out, including that two men sort of accidentally had to share a bridal suite in a large hotel when no other rooms were available! And an HH character [have I written about this kind before?] thought a certain woman was dangerous and had her followed--and many misadventures took place! But they pretty much worked things out in the end, the way happy story endings usually go! It was a fun movie to see. [Four stars.] Lots of details, for sure!

Extreme Views in Black and White

The most "black" view of homosexuality is that anything goes. A traditional "white" view, among conservative Christians, is that homosexuality is a sin--and we don't want to promote homosexuality! And the white side might think it's the end of the story--no further questions asked!? *** The gray side, in my opinion, has considered that there are legitimate needs and concerns of homosexual people--even within Christian churches. And it's been a matter of examining and understanding what the genuine issues were!?

Day of Remembrance

In Canada, the USA, and elsewhere, today is a day to remember and honour the soldiers who have fought in the wars. It's important for the families of soldiers; and I think we should recognize those who are serving now. [And what about veterans who have been injured?] At a nearby "Memorial Park" here, there's normally a poem on display which says the soldiers of the past have made their choices and were proud of them. There was a meaning to the effect that we shouldn't grieve the past so much as to live well now with the freedom which was given us.

I Respect Life

Many people know I sent out a statement last year about abortion, including my personal experience with it in the past. One of the main points I wanted to make was that life is valuable and should be respected at every stage--not just in infancy. It's easy to coo over small babies. And I've noticed it's often men, and women who can't have children, who are the most opposed to abortion! What about thousands and even millions of people and children who are suffering in many parts of the world? Who cares for them? Who is calling for their rights? There are individuals and agencies who do what they can but the needs are very great! *** People like to think about childbirth and babies--they represent life! But is it the whole picture??? *** In Canada, to the best of my knowledge, abortion is generally legal only in the first trimester of pregnancy. At that time, there isn't much hope of carrying on without the mother's body for growth--not so far--and I'm not sure it would be desirable to try!? On TV recently, I saw a picture of a mother's womb during the first trimester. The embryo must have been near the end of the trimester and was clearly developing into a human form. So, that would have been close to 12 weeks? What I studied earlier was that at 4 weeks, an embryo is the size of a grain of rice. And it doesn't usually take much longer than 4 weeks to learn a woman is pregnant--not if she's keeping track of her monthly cycle!? Regardless, I've read that tree seeds--like acorns--contain the shape of a mature tree within them. Is that correct? The shape of a seed doesn't really matter, except that it may reveal what the full form will look like--if and when it has a chance to grow to maturity under the right conditions!? *** Is it possible God has allowed for a small window of time for a woman or couple to change their mind about pregnancy, if they didn't intend to become pregnant? There are still risks, yes. And it's not a step to be taken lightly, in my opinion. The opinions and influence of others also need to be considered.--They may have an effect. Some people want to approve of abortion only if there are serious consequences to the health of the mother or child which might come up as a result of the pregnancy. I feel those concerns applied in my case, however I would also want to look past the nine months of pregnancy and the event of childbirth itself. My views and opinions are quite strong on this subject and I'll certainly stand by them. Will write some more separately.

The "X-Men"

Have written earlier about "X" symbols being connected to Chief Constables, or Chiefs of Police. In 1963, the X-Men comics were introduced. There was also an X-Men film in 2000; and "X-Men:--The Last Stand" in 2006. Would these be relevant? Oh, yes, I would say so!!! The stories reflect social issues, including anti-Semitism, gay rights and issues, racism and freedom from discrimination, and religion, etc. They're quite relevant! Have been working on evidence around the "X" symbols; and will be sharing some with my sources.

Some Contacts

Some of my business contacts are at the Fox TV network. FOX is owned by News Corporation, which is the world's second largest media company as of 2008, according to an Internet source. [The Walt Disney Company is the largest, according to my source.] News Corporation is also the world's third largest entertainment company as of 2009.

Controversial Case(s)

"OVERCROWDING" APPLICATIONS: An employee of the former housing tribunal told me the applications for "Overcrowding" were usually the most difficult cases to handle! They were the most contested and debated. My landlady had also tried to make accusations against my care of my son. But I had evidence to disprove her, including reports from school and children's programs, which all said my son was doing well; and the Big Brothers Association actually paid a visit to our home. If any government representatives or individuals wish to debate matters based on "hearsay," they can certainly stir up a lot of trouble.--It's never hard to be destructive or critical.--It takes more effort and skill to accomplish worthwhile efforts! Would like to say I still have evidence available from the time I lived in the above landlady's apartment. *** There have also been individuals whom I had considered to be my friends in the church who have made many kinds of outrageous accusations against me, in my opinion. They spoke to me face-to-face at times, and then went off to say something completely different to other people! *** My circumstances have been very complicated--not just in the past 11 years but also from my childhood, because of the gay rights project. Some of my own relatives are biased, by now, or they can't believe things that have happened to me [even good things!]. *** Would like to repeat that it takes very little skill or knowledge to be destructive. Anybody can do it! But to make constructive efforts is more difficult.--And it takes a longer time--therefore, unreasonable destruction and criticism isn't generally tolerated in our society. We want to value what's constructive, isn't that true?

An Extra Room Was Offered

EVIDENCE IN SEXUAL HARASSMENT: Regarding my original landlord/tenant matter which had been in question, the Province of Ontario had understood I was being evicted because the landlady found out the rental unit was officially too small, according to regulations, for my young son and me. They thought any other concept or accusation from my side was ridiculous! But, as recorded in an official tape recording produced by the housing tribunal, the lady had an extra room adjoining my unit; and she had offered it to me under certain conditions. Then she withdrew her offer and wanted me to move out! Lawyers know there are rules and laws which apply to sexual remarks, stated or implied, and they know the extra room would have made a significant difference to my case! I don't wish to debate the case further here--an explanation was given at the beginning of this blog--but I wanted to point out the extra room, for people who didn't have knowledge of it and were still concerned. *** For the record, I had contacted the property standards office in the city where the above rental unit was located. They told me their measurements of buildings were flexible--that sometimes bathrooms, hallways, closets, etc. weren't included.--But they could be included. If the maximum space had been counted in my apartment, there would have been only 15 square feet less than the requirement.--That's about a 3' x 5' space--not very much! And the extra room would have provided more than what was required even with the most severe measurements taken. [But I'm not debating the matter.--Comments are recorded on tape, if anyone would like to hear them. And I've given an explanation previously, as I stated.]

Court Matters

Have written about my criminal matters at the back of this blog. But would like to emphasize that my first trial was based on information the court received, which was that I had no case against my landlady [and that there had been no business in progress, which was false]. My entire landlord/tenant file--quite large by then--was sent to the court. And the original police report, filed in Kingston, had been deliberately withheld from me; and I wasn't knowledgeable about criminal matters, at that time.--I didn't know enough to insist on seeing it, until later when it was too late to help with that trial. There was also the issue that I was a stalker--it was made to appear that I was romantically obsessed with a public official--on top of having a "frivolous and vexatious" legal claim. But as I've also stated earlier, there have been lawyers and government officials who have acknowledged that I wasn't mistaken about my landlord/tenant business. The case wasn't prosecuted further because of time limitations; and it wasn't proven that I would have won. But there were clear grounds for me to make a case of sexual harassment against a same-sex landlord, who happened to be female! The evidence was there; and I still have an official, cassette recording [made by the agency] of the original landlord/tenant hearing I attended. There was a new landlord/tenant agency in effect, with a new law, at the time; and none of us were completely acquainted with how the law applied at the beginning. [I felt I was being harassed/sexually harassed, but I didn't have enough knowledge to know how to prove it right away.--The evidence had been presented, however.]

Is Christianity An Excuse To Exclude Hollywood And Film Efforts?

Should Christians promote the secular television and film industry? In the gay rights project, it happens to be where the main platform is! People are welcome to discuss the issues elsewhere; but matters would still be settled regarding the film stories. An advantage of Hollywood is that audiences are very large--in the millions! And isn't it true that people who go to church are products of our society, to some degree? Churches have had the view that homosexuality is sin; and God doesn't approve of homosexual relationships. Liberal people have had a view that homosexuality is all right and anything goes! But some people have considered that there must be some ground in between those extremes! And I think that's what they were looking at and aiming for. The views needed to be shaken up and aired out, according to them, I guess? By this time, a lot of time, effort, and money has been spent in publicity--even though the public hasn't understood all the issues, so far. Even all the parties in the gay rights project haven't seemed to know what was at stake!? Maybe some debate has been needed.--I don't know!? [It seems it has been.] *** The Bible says God will use the base and weak and foolish things of the world to "confound the wise." When the gay rights project began in 1932, it's been reported that others felt they had to direct or steer the parties into a more productive path!? But sometimes it's been hard to say who was right or wrong? And what about people with their own conflicted views who were being hypocritical about what should be done? In a matter which has been somewhat public--even if not completely disclosed--for the past 77 years, I believe interested persons will have to be authentic and accountable to the big picture! They won't succeed for long, if they're not. And on the other hand, can we make some progress and resolve something without continuing in the same way indefinitely? *** The Bible is also full of stories! Most of them are true; and they're in line with God's views and standards--which include concepts of judgment and hope. [Non-Christians might be surprised to know that besides themes of faith and sin, there are stories of violence, murder, sexuality, adultery, incest, and false imprisonment, along with stories of love and devotion. The Bible writers were inspired by God; and they weren't afraid to deal with real issues in life!] *** Have written earlier in this blog that in my own case, I hardly saw any TV before I was 7 years old. Then I saw it only at the homes of friends and relatives--or some "wholesome" movies [Walt Disney-types] at school or church-sponsored programs--until I was over the age of 18 years. When my mental health was worse in the past, I benefited somewhat from television; and occasionally I got carried away, but then I took steps to limit my viewing. I believe I learned to enjoy the advantages of TV and to have some discipline with it. For the gay rights project, I've found it necessary to view TV and films for business purposes--it wasn't just for my entertainment.--Not at all! There are professional athletes who practice and play sports full-time; and there are people who work in TV and film.--Some jobs can be related to fun and amusement! If people enjoy their work along the way, that's all right, too, in my opinion. But there have to be business and market standards upheld, if people want to be successful; and I've been attempting to get informed, to be competent, and to keep up with the gay rights project. [It wasn't originally my idea to get involved; and others have sometimes been less than business-like and competent, in my opinion. There are issues to sort out and we're working on them.] I think there have also been issues between the United States and Canada; and about what my involvement was expected to be? [I've had conflicts with Canadians--and they've certainly given me a hard time, at times--but I've tried to support the main effort from the USA.--I've been trying! (We're working on it.)]

To Watch TV--Or Not???

There have been studies done which showed that people who were mildly depressed [and/or had other minor, mental health issues?] were able to benefit by watching television.--It was good for them! On the other hand, studies have shown that children and youths who spend a high percentage of time watching TV are more prone to depression later on! Is there a balance? I think so--the same as in most things in life! *** As far as Christian values go, a founder of my church said it's better to avoid fiction, if possible; but if people can't do so, they should at least try to benefit from it--to learn something. And in my view, the ultimate purpose of art, in general, is to give people something worthwhile to think about! There's a certain value in relaxation, humour, and diversion, etc., but those things alone may not go far. We don't all start off at the same level of intelligence or experience, but we can evaluate whether or not we're getting something constructive from our entertainment? There are many positive themes including history, travel, and human experience. The more true to life a story is, the more worthwhile it is, I'd say. *** When I was in my last year of high school, our English teacher read us a quotation which said, "The immature reader expects a happy ending!" It made me feel disappointed, at the time, because I liked happy endings! But I began to realize sad endings reflected on reality. Literature or film literature can give us something different to think about than what we might have otherwise thought of! [Not that people have to turn to fiction literature for inspiration!--There's plenty elsewhere, if it's what a person wants.]

Some Understanding Needed

If some police and/or their associates have been malicious and aggressive at times, maybe we can consider the fact that they may face life-and-death situations almost daily--whether on their own behalf or others'. Some police had good intentions at the beginning; and we've made it this far! There's more positive evidence to be revealed and it may not take long now. I've also seen that police may be decent and conscientious; but they may have to be tough to deal with people and situations they face in their normal work. [It doesn't excuse them from accountability in the gay rights project, however.]

Film Stories

If there's a TV show or movie where two individuals of the same sex are walking down the aisle of a church together, it may be a discreet reference to gay marriage--even if it's not specified in the story! Some people might like to be aware of it. Have noticed the scenes a number of times. [My computer time is limited and won't provide any further details today.]

PCs and CCs

Along with the alphabet in the "alphabet show" I've mentioned earlier, there have been initials used. I understand that "PC" stands for Police Constable.--It's that way in actual, police business. And then I've been trying to learn what "CC" stood for? I finally found it--almost by accident--on the Internet! It stands for "Chief Constable," which may refer to a Chief of Police in Canada, or especially in Great Britain. There have been rumours about conflicts between PCs and CCs in the "alphabet show!" Of course, they must work together somewhat!? In their normal work, the chiefs supervise the regular constables. A symbol representing a Chief Constable in real life looks something like an "X" with a circle around it. [People can find this on the Internet--Google/Wikipedia.] There have been many "X" symbols in film--including in National Treasure--at the beginning; and even more at the end, in the location where the treasure was found! [When some of us were kids, we had "Find the hidden picture" puzzles!--A person has to be observant to find the not-so-hidden clues in films--in my opinion!] There were some in the sanctuary of the church, if I recall; and some underground. In the gay rights project, there have also been many divided opinions! In other words, there are always the pro and con sides.--Have I mentioned it before? So not all the PCs or CCs necessarily share the same views! [And they're not the only parties.] Michael Jackson also performed a song with a large "X" on one of his shirts in the concert mentioned below. [And he used a space theme, among others.]

Michael Jackson Concert

It was Michael Jackson's birthday a couple days ago. One of his concerts was shown on television on Saturday night. I sat down intending to watch it for a few minutes and ended up seeing the whole thing! This concert was from Bucharest, Romania in 1992. I believe Jackson included a number of symbols which have been used in the gay rights project. One of them was a light, blue colour which has been used for the shirts of police uniforms.--This colour has been used to represent the police in films [even if police weren't shown directly]. Some police are now wearing black shirts; but the blue ones used to be quite common. Will write about more details separately.

Movie--continued

The main character in the film below actually wasn't a cop but a "defense worker"--from the Department of Defense, I suppose? I had thought I read somewhere about the movie being compared to policemen who sometimes get burnt out on the job? [--And I guess it's no wonder, considering their work must be stressful!] I had also confused the names--the villain's name was Foster; and the investigating officer was Martin Prendergast. [If some police contribute to the gay rights project, I'm sure the majority of their work and efforts are spent in actual, police work!--We couldn't expect them to be experts in entertainment, or even in human relationships!]

Interesting Movie

[New readers can begin reading at the back of the blog, which is really the beginning, if they wish to. Thank you.] Will plan to write some more this afternoon, as far as possible. Have some other things to do in the meantime. There was an interesting movie about a burned-out police officer--it was called Falling Down, from about 1993, if I recall. The main character's name was Martin Prendergast. It's available on the Internet, if people wish to read about it. Burnt-out cops? Yes, I'd be interested to hear about them! [In French, the verb "prendre" means "to take." There are different variations of the word. The camera focused on the "Prender" part of the name, at a certain point! Could there have been a reason for it?]

A Real-Life Story From Detroit

When I was a child in 1967, I remember visiting at my uncle's house with my family. My uncle told us something that happened near a worldwide gathering of my church in Detroit, Michigan the summer before. I don't mind telling the story because by this time, there has hardly been any church--or certain types of groups--even politicians--who haven't been affected by these types of situations. A male pastor propositioned a man on the street.--It was a sexual proposition; but the other man happened to be an undercover police officer. I don't know if criminal charges were filed or not--don't have enough information--but I believe the pastor lost his job. I've had a reason to believe that this disgraced pastor, along with another man who had been a practising homosexual, became a founder of the Homosexuals Anonymous program for homosexual people who wanted to change. So, the story wasn't all bad! It was only in the middle 1990s that I heard about the "H.A." program. Since then, I've ordered literature from the group and have discussed them a number of times. But I was quite surprised to learn recently that at least one of the founders of H.A. had been expelled from the program because of a sexual scandal involving his employment. After doing research on the Internet, I learned of many sexual scandals regarding gays and gay therapy. And I thought it was sad! Some people have made serious efforts to recover from homosexuality; but there are still problems.--The problems are even somewhat extreme, considering that young gays and others who have sought help have more or less suffered sexual abuse or assault! *** For the record, my uncle had a policeman neighbour who lived just a few houses away at the above address. I know my uncle used to talk with him; and the policeman seemed to appreciate it. [He said people didn't often want to associate with police, at least at that time.] Myself, I don't recall hearing about the disgraced pastor from my church. Is it possible my uncle heard through his neighbour? And if so, why would a police officer in Canada be interested in something that happened in the United States??? The incident happened in the summer of 1966, before my uncle's family even moved to that neighbourhood. Why would the police officer remember?  I think it's a long time that a Canadian cop would remember a story from the USA!--Unless the police had a reason to be interested!? *** Will be writing about some related matters; and if I don't finish today, will plan to continue some more tomorrow.

Blog Accountability

As far as writing this blog goes, I've already told some individuals that I can always make corrections, if necessary; or I can delete items if there's a good reason to; or I can also print retractions, if they were needed. There are a number of steps I can take, if people have legitimate objections or if they can show me I'm mistaken. However, I'm trying to be careful not to embarrass anyone unnecessarily; and I believe I'm entitled to tell my side of the story, as long as I can do so in a reasonable manner.

Irish Young Men

There has been a rumour that it was Irish young men/police officers(?) who approached film people about the idea of doing a gay rights project together many years ago. Of course, young men grow up to be old men, sooner or later, but young people and perhaps young police officers have continued to be involved. It's helpful for the film industry; and the Bible even says that God can use young people. The name "Danny" has referred to the "Danny Boy" song from Ireland [in some film stories]. If there was a particular Irish boy who helped to promote me at the beginning, he was carrying on from other Irish boys in the past. I haven't had contact with him directly and I'm not sure what his views are at this time. [And it's not that he has to tell me!]

"Rubik's Cube"

The gay rights project has sometimes been compared to a "Rubik's cube" puzzle!--There have been many layers--and many twists and turns! In Canada, I'm aware of at least 7 provinces in which police were involved in the gay rights project. And there have been different levels of police, of course. Some of the local police in my area have also been involved or were aware of what was going on. Not all of the police officers or executives [I don't think] were, however. [Let's put everything on record! Have seen enough evidence, myself.] The main part of our film industry in North America is located in the United States, it being a bigger country; and this matter certainly hasn't involved only Canadian police!

Purpose of This Blog--II

One of the main reasons I started writing this blog was for people who already knew something about my circumstances and/or the gay rights project {*see below}. It hasn't been possible for me to discuss matters directly with everyone involved. This blog is open to everyone, however. [New readers can start at the back, which was the beginning of the blog.--If they wish to.] {*Guess it depends on what people understand by a "gay rights project"??? Have written more about it elsewhere. There was a particular, relatively minor, film project concerning some gay issues which was produced about 10-11 years ago. It may be all some people knew of!? Then there was a bigger but similar type of project which was promoted from 1972. It was the project which involved a concert pianist--with or without his knowledge--presumably after he arrived in Canada from the USA. There must have been some advisors who were "hired"--with or without pay (although it's been reported some received other benefits)--for the "1972 project." It has also been said that the above two projects were meant to bring attention to the real project--starting in 1932! The advisors and some police involved may have different views about the entire matter. Different views and a different understanding?--And they also may have changed their opinions over the years!? (But it's possible they weren't given enough information at the beginning?--Some weren't.) So, we're hashing these things out now!!!}

My Contacts

Regardless of my other circumstances, I've been interacting on a regular basis with Hollywood screenwriters and film companies for the past 6 years or more. Some police have also had their contacts with those sources, although I haven't usually had direct contact with the police or their advisors, myself. If I haven't had an actual contract for writing, so far, and haven't received responses by lettermail or e-mail from parties involved, some people have wondered if anyone was really paying attention to me? Did they care about my efforts? But isn't it true that "A picture is a thousand words?" You can read a book and see words on a page--and it's often helpful! But when you look at a TV or movie screen, you see many pictures passing in front of you. I've been a person who has studied and practised photography and photographic art--for much of my life--even if I did it informally, for the most part. And I always got good grades in writing and literature classes in school. I didn't graduate from university but I spent some time there. Later in my life, I also had an interest in going to law school.--Even my mom said I'd make a good lawyer!--But I've been so busy in the past 10 years that I've had to concentrate on the issues at hand [sometimes with the help of lawyers and law libraries and regular libraries]. Besides, when I went to court last in late 2005, the judge refused to see any of the evidence which I felt was relevant! [There were many issues with that court; and even court matters can be manipulated, if people choose to--there are many possibilities available!--Although I don't want to accuse anyone of anything specific, beyond what I've said.] The law says a defendant is entitled to a full answer and defence, but, unfortunately, it doesn't always happen! [I realize there are many points which could be debated but I haven't had enough of a chance to express my own views.] But even though I don't always receive direct responses back or see people in person, there have been times that I did.--And those circumstances connected in what I felt was a logical manner. [Won't list them here.]

Accountability

For the past year, I've been writing a business report about the gay rights project. It includes details about my own credibility and life. Someone said it's not possible to solve a puzzle until and unless you can see the whole picture; and I hope we've been getting closer to that now! [If not, we'll keep working on it!] The report is confidential, of course, to the parties involved. It's not for general viewing but I would give out some details if needed; and qualified authorities could take a quick look to examine the nature of the work, if they wished to.

Smile of the Day

A movie I've just seen, which I'll add to my list of favourites, is Elephant Walk with Elizabeth Taylor from 1953/54. Some points I like are that the lady threw all the free-loading drunks out of her house; she stood up to her husband when he was stuck in unhelpful views from the past; and she was there to see the "elephant people" break through the unreasonable barriers which had been placed in their path. An Englishman in Ceylon had built a large home directly across the trail which elephants used to go to their watering hole. He had reportedly said it was his privilege to place his home wherever he wanted to! I believe this house can represent discriminatory laws against gays; and, on the other hand, it can also represent gays who think they're entitled to get in the way of legitimate religious rights [it's been stated by some that gay rights need to overtake religious rights, and I don't believe that's true--see related posting below]. Another movie I like is The Man Who Knew Too Little, from 1997. [I have a copy at home; and Internet notes don't seem to do it justice. But it seems to be connected to an early film, "The Man Who Knew Too Much."]

Reflections

There's a saying that says, "Some people make things happen; some people watch things happen; and some people wonder what happened!?" There's also a proverb that says, "Things are as they are meant to be." I believe this one refers to cause and effect. Myself, I thought of a variation which says, "What is, is." Whatever is real and true won't be changed by what people say about it! People can speculate; and make accusations; and there can be misunderstandings. And it's good to resolve problems and issues, for sure! [As for legal problems, they have to be dealt with in a legal manner.] Sometimes it's a very big job to find what the real truth is--it's not always easy!

Criminal Issues--2005--Part 1

[Please see past postings for background information.] The events for which I got arrested in 2005 were quite minor, except for some comments I made. The case took about a year to prosecute and it was against my wishes that I was found to be "Not Criminally Responsible" on account of an alleged mental disorder. The comments I had made were similar to what I said to the Ontario Review Board this past April 2009. I said some police and some film people had been involved in a gay rights project together; and they had wanted my involvement in it. The position of the ORB has been that I'm delusional about it. It's not my intention to prove this matter here but I believe some people were already aware of it; and I'd like to make some comments. The gay rights project had actually begun back in the 1930s already. There were mostly men involved, whether gay men or male supporters and advisors, and they wanted to have a woman/young girl to assist them. To my knowledge, this matter has never been generally publicized, so far. In my case, I was targeted while I was a child already. My immediate family and I were never told about it by anyone; but I believe some other relatives and fellow church members may have been told. The story was made to sound palatable to them.--It was viewed in a positive light. Life is different today in 2009 than it was in the 1930s and inbetween; and there were schemes and now old-fashioned schemes in place. On the other hand, there seem to be people today who would like to close down the project without resolving anything. They'd like to throw it all out the window--that's been my impression! [Is that ever a healthy thing to do?] Before 2000 and even 2006, I didn't know everything that was happening. But I believe the above views are two extremes. There's a happy medium where things have been accomplished and they shouldn't be buried. Myself, I've done a lot of work in the form of writing; and I'd like to be compensated fairly. Some parties have wanted to remain anonymous and I think it should be their right to do so. But to close everything down arbitrarily isn't acceptable to me--and it shouldn't be to sensible people! There have been parties who wanted to see something get done in the field of gay rights; and it seems they're still waiting. Anyway, I'd just like to share some movies which I've found interesting. [If people don't have access to view them, they can look on the Internet through Google/Wikipedia, especially. The write-ups aren't always 100% accurate but I often find them helpful.] There's a movie, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, 1939. The characters Senator Smith, Susan Paine--a governor's daughter, and Miss Clarissa Saunders are the most relevant to me. There's Casablanca, 1942, a well-known and popular film; and I believe a certain element is relevant. Then there's Finian's Rainbow, 1968; and The Green Berets, 1968--with some details referring to the Casablanca matter, in my opinion. There's Top Secret!, from 1984, with some details also referring to Casablanca. And there's Overboard, 1987; and Contact, 1997. These are some of my favourite movies I'd like to mention, for now. *** See Part 2 of this entry near the end of February 2010.  ***  NOTE ADDED ON FEBRUARY 4, 2014:  It was actually secret police who started this business, at someone's request, in the past.  I have reason to believe the United States Secret Service was contacted and then they asked the then Secret Service division of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police to help them.  And then the RCMP asked some city police to help them.

Have Tried To Be Helpful

MAKING SOME AMENDS: People were understandably frightened and confused and hurt by stories about my landlord/tenant matter and the criminal charges [see past blogs for further explanation]. Even if I felt mistakes had been made, I still had to live with them--until and unless corrections were made officially. I've made explanations to others where possible, but it hasn't always been possible. And after reading a detailed newspaper article about the plight of gay young people, especially, I thought I could show some support by working for gay marriage rights. I contacted my local politicians and received a letter back from the federal member of parliament in Canada. He expressed his conservative views and his desire for tolerance; and he also quoted some statistics about new laws and about standards in other countries. In other words, he sympathized with gays but didn't wish to support gay marriage. I needed some time to think about this man's comments. A few years later, the idea of a legal contract for gay marriage was raised in Canada. This was a legal contract which wasn't meant to be recognized as marriage or to be connected to churches, but which would give committed gay couples the same legal rights as married couples.--They would get tax benefits, division of property rights in the event of separation, and protection from spousal abuse, etc. I believe this kind of a privilege would allow gays to have more normal lives, as far as fitting into society goes; and it would also allow society to maintain their traditional views of marriage. Marriage, itself, isn't especially a standard of success or failure for anyone--not like it used to be. [People are single, married, or divorced and it's not a big deal.] The legal contracts would be a blend of "justice and mercy," in my opinion. Other people were campaigning for gay marriage in Canada and it was legalized about 5 years ago. At the present time, I haven't been working for any new changes here and I don't expect to--except that I was trying to get my conservative church to soften their views on this subject. I have to believe that the legal contract idea is in line with the Bible instruction to "Render to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."--Doesn't it make sense? Some others and myself have also been expressing views on these topics for the benefit of the United States, where they're still having a lot of controversy about gay marriage. And maybe some controversy is good so that many views can be discussed. My own church is still resisting the idea of legal contracts and many people and churches still haven't heard of it! On the other hand, some people are pressuring me to go further; and I'm sorry, but the legal contracts are at my limits for gay marriage! I won't support full marriage but will support legal contracts. [Will write about some related issues; and the new criminal charges separately.]  NOTE ADDED ON JANUARY 18, 2014:  Have been writing further about gay marriage in my blogs and I'll say I'm now willing to support gay marriage, as long as there are religious exemptions in place.  People can see a post in Waterlily Story II for more info, if they wish.  Also, some other legal benefits which may affect gay couples are hospital privileges and end-of-life or health-care issues, which can be quite serious if a partner isn't recognized as a next-of-kin, etc.  The issues can be quite complicated!

Criminal Issues

A report on poverty in Canada which came out not too many years ago stated that, "The rich get richer; and the poor go to prison!" It's a very real fact of life that legal representation costs money! There are some dedicated and experienced lawyers who give their time to Legal Aid cases and legal clinics; and I've been thankful to meet many of these lawyers and to sometimes use their services. But if a person, like myself, is on a low income and is forced to depend on Legal Aid only, it's not always a happy story! [It used to be said that "He who represents himself (in court), has a fool for a lawyer!" But these days, people are sometimes forced to represent themselves; and it doesn't always turn out badly. I knew of people who had been successful--even in a bigger, civil case. Will write more below.] It's my opinion that I haven't been treated fairly in the criminal courts--even though it's not necessarily the fault of the courts. There are many factors which are always involved; and I've certainly been limited by a low income and the lack of an ability to pay for better legal representation. After my original criminal charge, which was indirectly connected to the housing tribunal, there was a secondary, "breach" charge for allegedly violating one of the conditions the police had given me before going to trial. The application of the conditions was a little blurred, considering I still had business with the housing tribunal, at that time; and I made a simple mistake, without meaning to cause any problems. Soon after the breach charge went to court, I decided to represent myself for that matter because the Legal Aid office had wanted to dip into an injury claim in which I wasn't expecting to win a lot.--They wanted me to agree to pay my lawyer in the future from potential compensation; and I wasn't willing to do that. [I had a lawyer for the injury matter and we later settled out of court, for an amount I had more or less expected.] In my opinion, I did a fairly good job of speaking for myself in court--and I'd received advice from Legal Aid lawyers and had also read about relevant parts of the law at the library. The experience helped me to understand the process and the issues better. Even though I lost that particular case, also, the sentence was mostly blended in with my first one. It was during the first trial that evidence got confused; and I wasn't able to sort it out and make a proper defence.--And I had a Legal Aid lawyer, for that case. Of course, the landlord/tenant matter was still in dispute, at the time, and it was held against me. The first criminal charges came up in 1999. A trial was held far away in a city where I had lived briefly; and it was harder to conduct court business over a distance. That matter was handled within a few months. The trial for the breach charge took about a year from the date of arrest to complete.--It was in a city closer to me, since I had been in the process of moving. In 2005, there was another arrest. I felt that the issues were quite different, and I'll explain more later, but the first charges had an impact.

Landlord/Tenant Matter 1998-2000+

In 1998, I was involved in a landlord/tenant case as a tenant. My landlady wanted to evict my young son and myself under what I felt were questionable circumstances. The housing tribunal, a quasi-judicial agency under the Province of Ontario, ultimately ruled that I was harassing my landlady by accusing her. But several years later, some executives acknowledged that I had legitimate grounds to make a case for sexual harassment against her. By that time, it was too late to prosecute the matter and I wasn't seeking to do so. At the beginning, I had voluntarily made an agreement to move out of my apartment because I wasn't sure of winning the eviction case. There were procedures that followed with requests for a review of the initial hearing, etc. The agency also told me after the follow-up began that I was entitled to turn in new evidence or information, if I had some to provide; and I did that. There was some dispute over comments I had made to my landlady but they happened only after I'd received notice of eviction.* [Will not write further about those comments, at least for now.] If anybody would like to confirm information about the sexual harassment matter, they could contact the Ministry of the Attorney General for Ontario at the Crown Law Office - Civil division. There have been lawyers and public officials who have acknowledged this matter privately but, so far, there has been no public explanation or apology. Otherwise, if anyone in Ontario or Canada has a complaint about how information was handled, they could try contacting their local politicians and informing them. There was no public statement made about my landlord/tenant matter, to my knowledge, except in the original documents. That particular agency has since been closed down and a new one opened in its place. But word can also travel by word of mouth and other means, which I believe it has. There are criminal charges which were directly or indirectly connected to the above matter. My landlady made no criminal complaints about me but there was another problem. Will be writing about it separately, while respecting some legal restrictions placed on me. *Note added on January 8, 2013:  It wasn't just what I said to my landlady but there was a naive and politically-incorrect comment in the documents I filled out for the Ontario Rental Housing Tribunal before the hearing.  And it wasn't that I meant any harm by it but I was inexperienced in dealing with gay people and didn't know the right language to say that I believed she was harassing me.  Also, I hadn't thought my language through very carefully and didn't have enough perspective on the matter.  Note added on January 24, 2013:  Have recalled that I also made the politically-incorrect comment at the ORHT hearing.  Please see a new blog post on January 24 for further information.
Note added on August 13, 2019:  Have recently acknowledged that I made the adjudicator nervous when I didn't explain my case properly at the Ontario Rental Housing Tribunal hearing...and I could've withdrawn my case....  The adjudicator thought I was just trying to put my landlady down because of her sexual orientation....  Even though the adjudicator went on to make a mistake in law, I believe it was my responsibility to make my case--which I was doing without a lawyer...!  I could've lost by default....  It would've been fair....